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2020-01-21

Ishmael Gaynor

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Watch Ishmael Gaynor's Kill Tony episode 430 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 3 joke beats, 0.31 punch density, 1.67 tag density.

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.31 punch density·1.67 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·3 beats·0.31 punch density·1.67 tag density

- What's up, what's up, what's up everybody?

How y'all doing, how y'all doing?

[Bit 1]

I used to work at Walgreens.

Horrible place, I hated working there.

Mostly because everybody stole.

That was like the worst thing about Walgreens.

I'm not saying all of y'all in here are stealing,

but I'm saying you're definitely related to some people

that are definitely stealing, you know what I'm saying?

It's weird 'cause I work in a community,

So I'll be seeing people and they'll come in.

And we'll try to have a conversation or whatever.

I'll just be like, yo, what's up, Carl?

He be like, what up, Ish?

I'm like, you buying something today?

He like, nah.

Fuck, you think I got this trash bag for, fam?

You know what I'm saying?

I'm clearing out all aisle 12.

All your soap, all your Tide.

I'm like, all right, Carl, you got it, whatever.

And so my boss, he'll be like, Ishma,

you have to say something to him.

'Cause this is 10 times stealing from us this year.

You know what I'm saying?

Like you have to say something to him.

So I walk outside, I'm like, "Carl, why are you stealing bro?

You 45.

Why don't you get a job like everybody else?"

And he looked me dead in my soul and he was like, "If I steal this shit and I go outside

and I sell it on a corner, that's 100% profit.

You can't beat that in Los Angeles."

And I was like, "You know what, dad?

Go ahead."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI used to work at Walgreens.

setupHorrible place, I hated working there.

setupMostly because everybody stole.

setupThat was like the worst thing about Walgreens.

setupI'm not saying all of y'all in here are stealing,

setupbut I'm saying you're definitely related to some people

setupthat are definitely stealing, you know what I'm saying?

setupIt's weird 'cause I work in a community,

setupSo I'll be seeing people and they'll come in.

setupAnd we'll try to have a conversation or whatever.

setupI'll just be like, yo, what's up, Carl?

setupHe be like, what up, Ish?

setupI'm like, you buying something today?

setupHe like, nah.

punchlineFuck, you think I got this trash bag for, fam?

tagYou know what I'm saying?

tagI'm clearing out all aisle 12.

tagAll your soap, all your Tide.