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2025-02-04

Tim Hanlon

Bucket PullMan

Watch Tim Hanlon's Kill Tony episode 703 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 2 joke beats, 0.06 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.06 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·2 beats·0.06 punch density·0.00 tag density

- All right, what's going on, y'all?

[Bit 1]

I just learned something for the first time.

I probably should have known this.

Maybe you guys know this.

Did you know that Muslims are sober?

They don't drink at all, none of them.

That freaked me out, like even like Muslim terrorists are stone sober.

They're just drinking shots of milk talking about death to America.

Like Jesus, that's scarier than thinking if they were smashed.

I don't know, man.

Maybe they could use a glass of wine, you know, calm the nerves a little bit, you know?

I got to talk for 60 seconds, I had two whiskeys back there.

But if I had to do what they had to do,

if I had to strap on a suicide vest,

I'd start drinking the night before.

I'd be hammered.

I'd show up drunk.

They'd be like, "Tim, it's eight o'clock in the morning."

I'd be like, "Well, it's 9/11 somewhere."

All right, thanks guys.

- All right, Tim Hanlon.

It's nice to get to meet Jack Shaw's comedy retired father.

- Okay, I've been around.

You do look like a guy that used to write comedy for game shows.

Is that what that guy is saying?

Here...

I know his mom.

Here you are.

Tim, welcome back.

It's been a while since we've seen you.

Yes.

Indeed, Muslims.

Don't drink.

It's OK.

Hey, I'm not Muslim.

Hell, yeah.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI just learned something for the first time.

setupI probably should have known this.

setupMaybe you guys know this.

setupDid you know that Muslims are sober?

setupThey don't drink at all, none of them.

setupThat freaked me out, like even like Muslim terrorists are stone sober.

setupThey're just drinking shots of milk talking about death to America.

punchlineLike Jesus, that's scarier than thinking if they were smashed.