Justin Platz

Bucket PullSmall Joke Book

Watch Justin Platz's Kill Tony episode 722 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 5 bits, 6 joke beats, 0.44 punch density, 0.33 tag density.

Career avg·5.00 bits/set·6.00 beats/set·0.44 punch density·0.33 tag density·1 set

This set·5 bits·6 beats·0.44 punch density·0.33 tag density·Small Joke Book

- What is up, you trap-ass hoes?

How we livin'?

[Bit 1]

My name's Justin, and Justin likes bustin'.

That's right, I can prove it, I've got a kid.

[Bit 2]

I know what you're thinking,

this is a supervised visitation

and/or alternating weekend dad face it best, right?

No way, this is a full custody father, people, that's right.

That's right, thank you.

[Bit 3]

And my son just graduated high school,

he just graduated high school with a sports scholarship.

That's right, I did not think the puberty blockers

were gonna work that well either, so.

You're just as surprised as me, I was fuckin' skeptical.

[Bit 4]

Uh, yeah, my son is 18, and he, uh,

he just turned 18, and he pissed me off really bad

the other day. He pissed me off so bad,

I actually turned in his draft registration card.

Yeah, I'm hoping that this Ukraine conflict kicks up

so that way I can put empty nester on my Bumble profile,

you know? It did not be a lie.

[Bit 5]

That's right. I am back on the dating apps.

One thing I've learned about dating apps,

you can't be totally honest on those things, right?

For example, this is 6'4" on all the platforms right now.

Yep. All right, that's my time.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

double-meaning

Lines

setupMy name's Justin, and Justin likes bustin'.

punchlineThat's right, I can prove it, I've got a kid.