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KILL TONY #486 - STEPHEN KRAMER GLICKMAN

2021-01-05

Kate Kennedy

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Watch Kate Kennedy's Kill Tony episode 486 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 6 bits, 8 joke beats, 0.58 punch density, 0.38 tag density.

Career avg·6.00 bits/set·8.00 beats/set·0.58 punch density·0.38 tag density·1 set

This set·6 bits·8 beats·0.58 punch density·0.38 tag density

- Oh, this is embarrassing.

[Bit 1]

My dog also is disabled and is too stupid

to learn how to use the wheelchair.

I don't know if you've ever tried to teach a dog

how to use a wheelchair, but there's a learning curve.

[Bit 2]

I used to do hardcore pornography.

It wasn't degrading enough for me,

so I got into standup instead.

[Bit 3]

I have lied to every single therapist

I've ever had to make them like me more,

which some people have pointed out

is maybe not the best way to achieve your goals in therapy,

but not if your goal is to win.

[Bit 4]

I'm just tired of pretending like

I would have been absolutely fine on Jeffrey Epstein's island.

I've done so much worse for so much less,

and I didn't even get to go to the beach.

I had to go to Canton, Ohio.

[Bit 5]

And I know that people get really

bent about human trafficking, but let me just say,

it's not that bad.

I get that it's a crime, but nobody

ships kids in wardrobe boxes.

They do make you fly economy on Spirit Airlines,

so it kind of sucks still, but it's not that bad.

[Bit 6]

Do you guys think Salman Rushdie was mad

that he had to write the entire Satanic verses in order

to get a fatwa declared against him

when all Mia Khalifa had to do was suck dick in a hijab.

I would be mad about that.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

anti-humor

Lines

setupMy dog also is disabled and is too stupid

setupto learn how to use the wheelchair.

setupI don't know if you've ever tried to teach a dog

punchlinehow to use a wheelchair, but there's a learning curve.