Tom Alfano

Bucket Pull

Watch Tom Alfano's Kill Tony episode 682 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 3 joke beats, 0.62 punch density, 1.67 tag density.

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.62 punch density·1.67 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·3 beats·0.62 punch density·1.67 tag density

- Thank you very much.

How you doing, New York?

[Bit 1]

Anyway, a little bit about me.

I'm actually married, which is weird, yeah.

I don't look like marriage material.

I look like I'm weed material, right?

[Bit 2]

Yeah, I love my wife.

She's very cool, but you know, she's a little weird, right?

Like my wife, she has the skin cream.

It's called Snail 97.

I thought this must be a creative name for a skin cream.

Nope.

I read the label.

It says 97% snail excretions.

She puts the shit on her face.

God forbid I ejaculate anywhere near her face, right?

Right?

Snail secretion's okay.

Tom Alfano secretion's no way.

That's her fucking motto.

I know-- Thank you.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

contradiction

Lines

setupAnyway, a little bit about me.

setupI'm actually married, which is weird, yeah.

setupI don't look like marriage material.

punchlineI look like I'm weed material, right?