- What's up everybody, give it up for Kiltoni!
[Bit 1]
A lot of people ask me if I'm gay.
That's not the fucking punchline.
No, I meet a lot of you. I meet a lot of you. I met some of you tonight.
You'd be surprised how many times when I meet someone they ask me if I'm gay.
No, I get I get it. I mean I see what you see, you know. Mirrors exist.
Like I'm never like why do people think I'm gay? I'm always like interesting.
Let's chat about it over brunch.
No, I really don't know why.
Maybe because I'm into fashion.
Like, no, I'm really, I'm really into men's fashion.
Maybe that's what, like if I saw a guy walking down the
street in like a beautiful tailor suit,
I'd have no issue being like,
should I suck that guy's dick?
Those are some smart slacks.
Should me and this man share a life together?
[Bit 2]
Let me lighten the mood, the death penalty.
I do have some thoughts on the death penalty.
People don't expect that from me. They're not controversial, though.
It's not like to be of the right to take a life, to be of the right to play God.
It's more about the last meal.
We'd agree that this is a murder.
A murder is about to happen.
Why does food even come into play in this scenario at all?
It's not even the fact that they get the meal.
It's the fact that we give them anything they want.
That's insane. Anything they want?
It sounds like we feel guilty.
Like, "Look, we're about to put you down in front of these few folks for what you did."
So if you fancy a bite to nash, give a holla.
Anything they want is crazy to me.
There were nights when I was younger at the dinner table. My mom was like, you're gonna act like that go upstairs
This guy mows down a half a dozen of a Santander Bank we owe him pumpkin ravioli
Who's running the government my grandmother you can kill him, but you gotta feed him
[Bit 3]
I just took a 23andMe test.
Couple surprises, got back, couple surprises.
It's fucking 1%, calm down.
I don't know how that happens. How does 1% even happen?
Would my great-great-great-great grandfather give a thumbs up to a French lady at an intersection?
[Bit 4]
Biggest surprise, 8% African American.
8% to live 40 plus years and not know that,
And before you get ahead of me,
I'm not gonna make some...
I didn't hear what he said.
Well, all right, all right.
Here, look, before you even get ahead of me,
no, I'm not gonna do that, okay?
I'm not gonna make some hack joke
about what African-American trait
That's low hanging fruit.
You guys are comedy fans.
You didn't come in for that.
I didn't come in for that.
I'm not gonna make that hack joke.
I don't care what you say.
But if I was gonna make the joke,
I'd tell you guys that I have sickle cell anemia.
Only in my large black penis though.
