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KT#702 - SHANE GILLIS + MARK NORMAND + ARI SHAFFIR

2025-01-28

Matt Bellic

Bucket Pull

Watch Matt Bellic's Kill Tony episode 702 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.29 punch density, 1.25 tag density.

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.29 punch density·1.25 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.29 punch density·1.25 tag density

All right.

[Bit 1]

I live in Austin now.

Kind of newer here.

Austin's a wild city.

It is very weird.

I went to a house party a couple weeks ago here.

Saw something I've never seen in my life.

I walk in there.

Back at the house, I saw two guys in the back

doing competitive rock-paper-scissors.

Just throwing down.

I thought it was a Texas thing.

I thought they were playing for money.

I went to check it out.

Turns out, just two deaf guys on cocaine talking to each other

really fast.

There's like--

We partied all night.

They called it a silent disco.

That's what we did.

We fucking got down.

[Bit 2]

Diddy's in trouble.

You seen this?

You heard about this?

Diddy?

No, but one of the things he did I didn't think was a big deal.

He would hire these escorts to come to the house,

And their job was to entice his guests to have sex with them,

and then he would film them having sex without their knowledge.

And apparently, you can't do that.

So--

Well, when I read that, I was like, who is--

he would try to use that as blackmail on people.

And I read-- I was like, who's that blackmail for?

You know, like, if I got a phone call one day

and someone's like, we have a video of you and Dr. Dre

double-taming a hooker at Diddy's house,

I'd be like, can you tag me in that, dude?

Like, if fucking you have the video,

none of my friends will leave me.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI live in Austin now.

setupKind of newer here.

setupAustin's a wild city.

setupIt is very weird.

setupI went to a house party a couple weeks ago here.

setupSaw something I've never seen in my life.

setupI walk in there.

setupBack at the house, I saw two guys in the back

setupdoing competitive rock-paper-scissors.

setupJust throwing down.

setupI thought it was a Texas thing.

setupI thought they were playing for money.

setupI went to check it out.

punchlineTurns out, just two deaf guys on cocaine talking to each other

tagreally fast.