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Kill Tony #141 (Adam Ray, Matt Braunger)

2020-05-06

David Friedman

Bucket PullManWhite

Watch David Friedman's Kill Tony episode 141 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 1 joke beat, 0.05 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·1.00 beats/set·0.05 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·1 beat·0.05 punch density·0.00 tag density

- Hi guys.

Okay, so I got to do a shtick.

I wasn't really prepared 'cause I did a shtick downstairs.

[Bit 1]

But I have a cat named Mike,

and he's like the coolest cat,

but the one thing that he does that really drives me crazy,

and if you have a dog or a cat, he probably does this too.

I come home and Mike's really happy to see me,

and I pet him and he's like, oh, this is great.

And then after I'm done petting him,

he goes off and licks himself clean for the next hour.

And I was like, OK, Mike, you trying to tell me something?

So what happens is that I did an experiment,

and I came home, and Mike was really happy,

and I pet him, yeah, yeah.

And then he goes off and cleans himself for an hour.

And then I just go and I touch his head for a little bit.

I just scratch his head for a teeny little bit.

And he goes off and starts licking himself clean again.

And I go, Mike, what's up?

And he's like, don't tell me what's up, sticky fingers.

I just watched you masturbate.

debate. That's my mic choke.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupBut I have a cat named Mike,

setupand he's like the coolest cat,

setupbut the one thing that he does that really drives me crazy,

setupand if you have a dog or a cat, he probably does this too.

setupI come home and Mike's really happy to see me,

setupand I pet him and he's like, oh, this is great.

setupAnd then after I'm done petting him,

setuphe goes off and licks himself clean for the next hour.

setupAnd I was like, OK, Mike, you trying to tell me something?

setupSo what happens is that I did an experiment,

setupand I came home, and Mike was really happy,

setupand I pet him, yeah, yeah.

setupAnd then he goes off and cleans himself for an hour.

setupAnd then I just go and I touch his head for a little bit.

setupI just scratch his head for a teeny little bit.

setupAnd he goes off and starts licking himself clean again.

setupAnd I go, Mike, what's up?

setupAnd he's like, don't tell me what's up, sticky fingers.

punchlineI just watched you masturbate.