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KT #754 - BERT KREISCHER + RICK INGRAHAM

2026-02-03

Greg Bergman

Bucket PullBig Joke Book

Watch Greg Bergman's Kill Tony episode 754 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.34 punch density, 1.50 tag density.

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.34 punch density·1.50 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.34 punch density·1.50 tag density·Big Joke Book

[Bit 1]

I'm in a great mood, I'm dating a beautiful girl.

Beautiful girl, I shouldn't say girl,

she actually identifies as non-binary.

Yeah, which I gotta say,

fellas, it's the best of both worlds.

You know, I come home from work,

I'm in a, depending on my mood,

I can make love to her or beat the shit out of him,

you know what I'm saying?

You get away with it, no, no, no, officer,

she put on the makeup to cover the black eye I gave him,

not the other way around, you know?

You get away with it, it's amazing.

Well, I was signing up 57 times.

I don't know if I'll ever be back.

[Bit 2]

I have to tell Austin I have the biggest penis in Austin.

This is a fact.

Look up.

I do.

I have the biggest dick in Austin.

I'm not bragging.

I bought it.

That's odd.

Allow me to explain.

About 10 years ago, Lincoln would say half a score,

I got a penis implant.

Made a movie about a pig like me.

And there's only one caveat.

They can only make it thicker, not longer.

You know?

And I'm a little disproportionate.

I got to be honest.

You're supposed to go twice, I went three times,

third time, not a charm.

I'm hung like a hockey puck.

It's really a couple cans of tuna stacked

on top of one another, but not that cheap bumblebee shit.

Talk about that albacore, about that solid white meat.

That's what I got.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI'm in a great mood, I'm dating a beautiful girl.

setupBeautiful girl, I shouldn't say girl,

setupshe actually identifies as non-binary.

setupYeah, which I gotta say,

setupfellas, it's the best of both worlds.

setupYou know, I come home from work,

setupI'm in a, depending on my mood,

punchlineI can make love to her or beat the shit out of him,