[Bit 1]
I tell you what, I'm learning a lot
about this beautiful city.
It's fantastic, it's gorgeous.
I was walking down Sixth Street.
I saw a lady on her back and I saw her pussy.
I tell you what though, she was like,
I felt like I was in Dallas though.
It was an interesting pussy.
It looked like JFK's exit wound.
It was, no it was, it was crazy.
There was a big old flap going over a Waymo.
I saw Jackie Kennedy chasing.
It was fantastic, wonderful, great.
[Bit 2]
Although I've been hearing some...
I know this is a very progressive town, sir, with your pink hair. Fantastic. Good stuff.
I saw that, uh, Barbie recently released a Down Syndrome Barbie doll,
which is very, very interesting.
There was a lot of other Barbie dolls as well.
There was a black Barbie doll. There was an Asian Barbie doll.
There was a Barbie doll in a wheelchair.
That was a cross-promotion with hot wheels, which is interesting.
But the Down Syndrome Barbie doll was my favourite.
I wouldn't buy it, personally.
Just put the regular Barbie doll in the microwave
for 25 seconds, you get the same result.
...thinking. Hello, Brian. How are you?
You're well, sir. You're going all right.
-Aizik Butterfield, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome, Aizik. -Good to see you, sir.
-It's your first time on the show, correct?
-First time here? -Yes, first time on "Kill Tony."
From what I hear backstage, you guys have been
a fucking fantastic crowd.
Look at you trying to get them on your,
what are you running for governor or something?
Do you live here in America?
From, yeah, from Newcastle.
So Kangaroo, Wakidna, et cetera.
How long you been on standup?
How long have you been in Austin?
For about a week and a half.
I'm never coming back in summer. This is atrocious. Jesus Christ.
It is a warm around here.
So this is your second time signing up for the show?
Yeah, I was here last week and Tony always talks about, on Phil Tony,
about the amount of people that sign up.
But there is a huge amount of people next door.
And it's an incredible thing that you and Brian have done.
So congratulations to you too. Thank you very much.
-Why don't you just suck everybody off up here?
Suck the blind guy off, too.
-No, D-Madness, famously the most homophobic person
on this stage. -Right, okay.
-Literally just said, "Nope."
Isaac, what do you do for work?
-I'm a comedian, so I'm a comedian from Australia
and tour and all that type of stuff.
I make YouTube videos, as well.
So yeah, I love it. Tell us something crazy about your life. Uh, I have paratysmal dyskinesia big fan
Yeah, which is a movement disorder
Where I lose control of my head and my neck and I go blind in my left eye. So
When does this happen how often does this happen really?
But my biggest fear is it happening on stage?
So I actually wink quite a bit when I'm on stage.
I thought you just winked at D-bandness after he said no.
And I thought you were trying to be funny,
but now that you mention it,
I see you just wink a lot with your left eye.
- But when you say you lose control of your head and neck,
can you like do an act out of kind of what it looks like?
Like what happens when you have--
Basically, yeah, turn the lights up.
I basically, imagine trying to look behind yourself
to see what's there, that's it, like that,
and I go blind in my left eye, which is awesome.
So bright lights aren't great for me,
So it hasn't happened on stage yet,
but there is time and that would be great for views.
- You got nothing going on compared to the last guy.
- Good luck with your blindness.
You should fucking talk to him afterwards.
- I could tell you had it better than the last guy.
when you said your diagnosis.
Yeah, he had an actual name of anything.
It was an infection, Tony, it was an infection.
I don't know, it was an infection.
It was an infection, it was on the--
Diabetes causes blindness eventually, right?
You saw him, you must have been back there.
I had to fucking stand up like that
to let him get past me, but that's--
Allegedly, I don't know if it happened or not.
Isaac, you have a wife, girlfriend, oh, Holtzman?
You know, I thought you were winking at me,
and now I know it's a medical problem.
I'm kind of disappointed, you know.
-Dueloy, you've sucked a clown off.
-He does look -- That is it.
You nailed it. You got him.
-I love you working, Salty.
You have a wife, a girlfriend?
I have a beautiful wife, Claire, and my son Atticus.
We're touring America at the moment doing shows.
And so he gets to see the world.
First time he came to America, he was five months old.
And we got off the plane in Austin.
He had his little fan on.
He finds farts hilarious.
Did you sign up for the show that last time you came to Austin?
I was too scared, darling.
Because not to be a fucking hero,
but I usually do longer sets, so a minute really scares me.
Again, Holtzman killing with no microphone necessary.
Just the first four-- - It scared us too!
- Just the first four rows cracking up in the whole table.
Who cares about the millions watching around the world?
Again, the senior veteran professional on stage,
Brian Holtzman, the destroyer, no audio necessary.
-I love it. Isaac, what does your wife do?
-She is unemployed. She's a stay-at-home mum.
She -- No, she is a whore.
And she's got a lot of heart.
-How long are you in town for, Isaac?
-I'm here until Wednesday,
and then we're going to LA to the Hollywood improv.
And then into New York as well.
That is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Getting a visa into America is ridiculous.
What did you have to do to get it?
I had to prove I was an alien of extraordinary ability.
I had to show them articles about myself
and all of those articles saying I'm a piece of shit.
but it basically costs you a lot of money
and you have to prove to the people that you're a legit human being.
And that's what I had to do and show that I was a comedian, etc, etc.
But we're here. We finally got here.
You made it. You won't have to be looking over your shoulder anymore.
And I got to do the most American thing today.
Nothing better than a winky twitchy guy shooting an AK-47.
-I like the most American thing is shooting a Russian gun.
