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2024-07-30

Jacob Marshall

Bucket PullBig Joke Book

Watch Jacob Marshall's Kill Tony episode 674 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 1 joke beat, 0.05 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·1.00 beats/set·0.05 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·1 beat·0.05 punch density·0.00 tag density·Big Joke Book

- Yeah.

[Bit 1]

So I used to have an Apple Watch.

I don't anymore, I got rid of it.

I hated it.

'Cause there's this thing you can do with Apple watches

where you can connect them to a friend

that has an Apple watch,

and it'll tell you when they finish a workout.

Which is terrible.

Because backstory, I was dating this girl

for like three and a half years.

We break up, it's a Saturday night,

a few months after the breakup.

I'm sitting on the couch with my best friend

watching a UFC pay-per-view.

And at midnight, I get a notification on my watch

that says, "Kylie just finished a 17-minute cardio exercise."

So y'all are smarter than me.

'Cause I looked at my friend, I was like,

"It's a little late for a run."

He was like, "Jacob, she's not running.

"She's being ran through right now, dude."

All right, that's all I got.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupSo I used to have an Apple Watch.

setupI don't anymore, I got rid of it.

setupI hated it.

setup'Cause there's this thing you can do with Apple watches

setupwhere you can connect them to a friend

setupthat has an Apple watch,

setupand it'll tell you when they finish a workout.

setupWhich is terrible.

setupBecause backstory, I was dating this girl

setupfor like three and a half years.

setupWe break up, it's a Saturday night,

setupa few months after the breakup.

setupI'm sitting on the couch with my best friend

setupwatching a UFC pay-per-view.

setupAnd at midnight, I get a notification on my watch

setupthat says, "Kylie just finished a 17-minute cardio exercise."

setupSo y'all are smarter than me.

setup'Cause I looked at my friend, I was like,

setup"It's a little late for a run."

setupHe was like, "Jacob, she's not running.

punchline"She's being ran through right now, dude."