Elazar Guzman

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Watch Elazar Guzman's Kill Tony episode 696 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.33 punch density, 0.25 tag density.

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.33 punch density·0.25 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.33 punch density·0.25 tag density·Big Joke Book

- Hey everybody, my name's Elazar.

He tried his best.

[Bit 1]

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have smoked before this.

You guys ever smoked and then feel like

I didn't have a heart attack?

I gotta stop smoking meth.

I'm kidding.

But I grew up Jehovah's Witness?

Never get that reaction.

Usually even Mormons are like, "Yikes."

[Bit 2]

So I made stuff like my birthday recently really weird.

I just recently turned 34.

Thanks. I've been freaking out about it.

Felt like I hadn't had enough sex in my life.

So my last month at me at 33,

I just tried to go as many dates as possible.

This last date I went on, this girl was like,

"Look, I want to have sex tonight,

but I have UTI."

And I said, "Look, I don't care what school you went to."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupYeah, I probably shouldn't have smoked before this.

setupYou guys ever smoked and then feel like

setupI didn't have a heart attack?

punchlineI gotta stop smoking meth.

tagI'm kidding.