- How y'all doing tonight?
Have you guys ever been in a situation
to where you get talking about Michael?
I mean, your name's Mike, how many of you would think?
You ever ever been in a situation
where you get totally fucked
without even knowing about it?
- Michael, you have to, let's start over.
You have to talk in the end of this thing.
- Like directly, you have to put your mouth
right next to it when you talk.
Look where I'm at, look where I'm at Mike, right there.
Yeah, you got this dog, you got it.
Put your hands together for Michael Crawford, everybody.
This is when you know it gets real when you get on stage
and you're like, "Holy shit, what the fuck is going on here?"
All right, well let's bring it back to normal.
Have any of you guys ever been--
This one's louder. This one's louder.
Yeah, you ever got in a situation where you...
- Did this just get real?
This just got fucking real, people.
This just got fucking real.
All right, let's bring it back in.
One more time for Michael Crawford.
[Bit 1]
Have any of you guys ever made a mistake in your life to where you look at it and you
really think, "What the fuck am I doing here?"
I'm on stage right now next to Steve Vogue, Tony Hinchcliffe, Russell Peters, and Red
Give it the fuck up for these people, everybody.
Let's get it cracking up in here.
I didn't mean to come up like...
[Bit 2]
Umm, uhh, dude, have any of you guys ever been with a bigger woman and got scared when
you realize the fact after the matter that you're actually with this chick?
Holy shit man, the other night man I fucked my mom's coworker and it was just fucking
Size of a Kenmore fridge, she's a biggin, biggin, and I mean biggin when it comes down
No offense to any people in the crowd tonight.
What she told me she was gonna squirt Iran for the fucking hills
Fucking ran as fast as I could it was not a joke
Fucking called sir prone the process because I didn't know what the fuck was gonna happen if my house is gonna be flooded out