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Kill Tony #170 - Stephen Glickman & Mike Lawrence

2016-10-24

Darryl Davey

Bucket PullManBlack

Watch Darryl Davey's Kill Tony episode 170 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 8 joke beats, 0.62 punch density, 0.63 tag density.

Career avg·4.00 bits/set·8.00 beats/set·0.62 punch density·0.63 tag density·1 set

This set·4 bits·8 beats·0.62 punch density·0.63 tag density

That's right.

Slap hands with my homies.

[Bit 1]

I don't play games.

I'm from the streets.

from the motherfucking suburbs, bitch.

[Bit 2]

From a place called Santa Carita.

Me and my friends, we call it Santa Clitoris.

Why?

'Cause it's a town that should be fucked.

Hard in the ass, so we can put some life into it.

It's boring.

It's like that movie Pleasantville with Tobey Maguire

and Reese Witherspoon.

It's black and white, everybody cuts their grass,

waters their flowers, walks their dog.

Everybody's celibate, nobody fucks.

It upsets me.

[Bit 3]

And my friends call me an Oreo all the time,

and I said, "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."

But one time I had a dream that Morgan Freeman called me an Oreo,

so I guess that's true now.

When Morgan Freeman calls you something, that's what you are.

When you play God more than once in a movie, that's what you're going to do.

One thing I wanted to say was that

[Bit 4]

Donald Stirling didn't want to see black people at basketball games.

He's a racist.

Him saying he doesn't want to see black people at basketball games

is like me saying I don't want to see white people at Starbucks.

I don't drink coffee ever.

If you come to Starbucks, it's only for me and my niggas.

You can only have water and pastries if you're a white person.

you know what a white person goes through, Darryl,

because I'm half white.

I know that white people crave coffee every 3.5 seconds.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI don't play games.

setupI'm from the streets.

punchlinefrom the motherfucking suburbs, bitch.