Mel Safi

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Watch Mel Safi's Kill Tony episode 584 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.29 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·4.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.29 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.29 punch density·0.00 tag density·Big Joke Book

[Bit 1]

Hey I'm obviously pregnant so I couldn't do as much cocaine as that guy. It's not

good that I'm pregnant though this is gonna be a third fucking kid in my house

and when I found out I didn't know what to do, the nearest abortion clinic is 282.9 miles away.

Not that I checked. It is a boy for now these days. Actually I don't have a name for him yet,

[Bit 2]

and my daughter, she's so sweet, she really wants to name him Jack. I think it's a great name,

except my last name is Safi.

Jack Safi.

It took me a while and I put it together

and now I have no idea how to tell her

that we are not naming him Jack.

Uh, enough about little fleshlight.

[Bit 3]

I want to talk about my, uh--

my husband's here tonight.

He is the bomb.

And not just because he's from Afghanistan.

[Bit 4]

No-- seriously, his name is Amzah Mohammed,

and traveling with him is a pain in the fucking ass.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupHey I'm obviously pregnant so I couldn't do as much cocaine as that guy. It's not

setupgood that I'm pregnant though this is gonna be a third fucking kid in my house

setupand when I found out I didn't know what to do, the nearest abortion clinic is 282.9 miles away.

punchlineNot that I checked. It is a boy for now these days. Actually I don't have a name for him yet,