Celia Contreras on Kill Tony
2 sets·2.00 bits/set·4.50 beats/set·0.43 punch density·0.17 tag density
About Celia Contreras's sets
Celia Contreras has done 2 sets on Kill Tony, the first on episode #492 (16 Feb 2021) and the latest on episode #727 (15 July 2025).
Celia Contreras came to the show as a bucket pull, a comic whose name is drawn from the bucket for a one-minute set.
Celia Contreras has performed for guest panels including Joe Derosa, Tim Butterly and Dustin Ybarra (Phoenix).
Celia Contreras averages 0.43 laugh lines, punchlines and tags, for every setup or filler line. That is more than 59% of the 1,713 other comics PunchNotes has broken down.
On average Celia Contreras follows each punchline with 0.17 tags.
Of the 9 jokes PunchNotes has classified, 5 are double-meaning jokes, ahead of reframe (1).
Appearances
Jokes from Celia Contreras's sets
A few jokes from each set. Open a set for the full transcript and every joke.
KT #72715 July 2025
I went hitchhiking recently, and all my friends and family said stupid-ass shit to me. They're like, "What if you get raped or kidnapped? You all see me, right?"
If somebody raped or kidnapped me, that motherfucker earned it.
And at the end of the night, they still jizz on my thigh, and at that point I just want them to go home,
so I'm like, "Good job, soldier.
"He did your country, pal."
KT #49216 Feb 2021
I'm a bigger girl, so I have to take two plan B pills
in case the first one gets lost.
My favorite stepdad was very open-minded,
especially when that .45 caliber tore through the back of his head.