2025-07-22
Set 5 · Episode 728
Fiona Cauley
Golden TicketWomanDisabled
Career avg·2.00 bits/set·2.43 beats/set·0.36 punch density·0.52 tag density·7 sets
This set·2 bits·3 beats·0.17 punch density·0.33 tag density
Watch Fiona Cauley’s set
Skips to 39:14 in the episode
[Bit 1]
I just got back from France.
Yeah, they let me over there.
Um...
No, it was pretty funny.
And I got there and I had to Uber from the airport
to the hotel and my fiancee was with me
and our Uber driver was like this really hot French man.
Okay.
And I thought he was hitting on me
and I was really excited to turn down this French guy
in front of my fiancee.
I kind of need that emotionally.
And then he goes, "I just really love your voice."
Which as you all can imagine,
isn't really a compliment I get off in.
Yeah, no.
And then he goes, "Yeah, I'm learning English, so."
You talk so slow.
It's so helpful.
[Bit 2]
And like, y'all, I am already humble.
You know what I mean?
Like, God took care of it.
I don't need this man.
My point is, Duolingo can suck my dick.
Duolingo can suck my wee-wee, or what?
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Needing to reject an attractive man for validation is widely understood but rarely said aloud.”
Joke Type
elephant-in-the-roomLines
setupI just got back from France.
setupAnd I got there and I had to Uber from the airport
setupto the hotel and my fiancee was with me
setupand our Uber driver was like this really hot French man.
setupAnd I thought he was hitting on me
setupand I was really excited to turn down this French guy
setupin front of my fiancee.
punchlineI kind of need that emotionally.