2025-07-22

Set 2 · Episode 728

Jesse Saldana

Bucket PullManSmall Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.09 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·2 beats·0.09 punch density·0.00 tag density·Small Joke Book

Watch Jesse Saldana’s set

Skips to 10:58 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Yo, uh, I recently realized I'm ready to be a dad,

'cause I got this girl pregnant.

But this was two years ago.

Right after Roe v. Wade got overturned.

And she was like, "I'm pregnant."

And I was like, "Well, we only got one choice, I guess."

And I say it's the first time I, like,

realized I was ready to be a dad,

because most of my ex-girlfriends have been Mexican girls,

so I've had this conversation before, you know?

But this was the first time I was like, "You know what?

I got a good job. I got benefits."

I didn't really know what those benefits were,

but this old dude at work kept telling me,

"Hey, the benefits are good here."

I was like, "Man, you might be right.

You've been here for 20 years, and this job sucks."

So I told her all that, and she's like,

"I'm not having your fucking kid."

And I was like, "Oh, white girls are cool."

[Bit 2]

And I -- Like, I live in Austin now.

I've been telling people I moved to Austin for comedy,

but the truth is, I just wanted to find a white girl

that likes the same drugs I like.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Post-Roe pregnancy with only one choice implies fatherhood, but reveals the white girl aborts anyway.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupYo, uh, I recently realized I'm ready to be a dad,

setup'cause I got this girl pregnant.

setupBut this was two years ago.

setupRight after Roe v. Wade got overturned.

setupAnd she was like, "I'm pregnant."

setupAnd I was like, "Well, we only got one choice, I guess."

setupAnd I say it's the first time I, like,

setuprealized I was ready to be a dad,

setupbecause most of my ex-girlfriends have been Mexican girls,

setupso I've had this conversation before, you know?

setupBut this was the first time I was like, "You know what?

setupI got a good job. I got benefits."

setupI didn't really know what those benefits were,

setupbut this old dude at work kept telling me,

setup"Hey, the benefits are good here."

setupI was like, "Man, you might be right.

setupYou've been here for 20 years, and this job sucks."

setupSo I told her all that, and she's like,

setup"I'm not having your fucking kid."

punchlineAnd I was like, "Oh, white girls are cool."