Michael Hines

Bucket PullManLarge Joke Book

Career avg·6.00 bits/set·6.00 beats/set·1.02 punch density·0.33 tag density·2 sets

This set·6 bits·6 beats·1.40 punch density·0.17 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Michael Hines’s set

Skips to 27:53 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I want to be the strong, silent type like John Wayne,

but I'm really more of a fat gay clown like John Wayne Gacy.

[Bit 2]

I'm polyamorous, just not by choice.

Every girl I fuck is banging someone else.

[Bit 3]

The two things taking jobs in this country are AI and hola.

[Bit 4]

I think marriage is a lot like hitting women.

If you think you would never do it, you probably just haven't met the right girl.

[Bit 5]

My opinion on abortion is you probably shouldn't.

Unless it's mine, because I'm just really not ready to be a dad yet.

So you know, same as every guy.

[Bit 6]

Do you guys know why Jesus is in such good shape?

He's the original CrossFitter.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“"John Wayne" sounds like "John Wayne Gacy", and "John Wayne Gacy" fits because self-image.”

Joke Type

phonetic-match

Lines

setupI want to be the strong, silent type like John Wayne,

punchlinebut I'm really more of a fat gay clown like John Wayne Gacy.