Jack Horner

Bucket PullDisabledSmall Joke Book

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.20 punch density·0.67 tag density·1 set

This set·3 bits·3 beats·0.20 punch density·0.67 tag density·Small Joke Book

Watch Jack Horner’s set

Skips to 13:07 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Yeah, my favorite drug is cocaine

'cause it makes me psychic.

Yeah, like I had a premonition the other day

that three days from now I'm gonna lose my job.

If you laughed at that joke, that means you've done cocaine.

Why do I know? Because I'm psychic.

[Bit 2]

Oh man, guys, I was joking about that,

but I have been to prison, I've been to the big house.

The hard part about being incarcerated

was explaining to everyone

that the teardrop tattoos were actually semen drops.

[Bit 3]

I'm going through a hard time right now.

I just got out of a long-term relationship.

This is with my cellmate, Larry.

We broke up 'cause I was always the little spoon.

The big spoon was America's Opiate Epidemic.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Cocaine is so addictive it could be reframed as a psychic drug that predicts job loss.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupYeah, my favorite drug is cocaine

setup'cause it makes me psychic.

setupYeah, like I had a premonition the other day

punchlinethat three days from now I'm gonna lose my job.

tagIf you laughed at that joke, that means you've done cocaine.

tagWhy do I know? Because I'm psychic.