Set 5 · Episode 664
Uncle Lazer
SpecialManWhite
Career avg·2.81 bits/set·4.31 beats/set·0.41 punch density·0.81 tag density·16 sets
This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.27 punch density·0.50 tag density
Watch Uncle Lazer’s set
Skips to 48:07 in the episode
[Bit 1]
- Y'all ever tried to get that Jehovah Witness boys
to do cocaine with y'all at the front door?
You know the Jehovah's, right?
They travel in tandem.
They pull up to their yard in their Huffy Mountain bikes,
the finest silks from the JC Penney's,
singing songs and praising their Lord, Tom Cruise.
[Bit 2]
Yeah, and I'm like, listen, Ezekiel, okay?
I don't give a fuck about the guy from Mission Impossible.
Do you wanna go polish off last night's eight ball with me?
Ezekiel stepped up the challenge.
We stayed up all night in my garage till the sun came up,
talking about, you know, the Underground Railroad.
And that was actually underground the whole time, you know.
Right?
That morning, when he got on that bicycle
and bid me a goodbye,
he had the best bike ride of his life
to the top of that damn hill.
But colors were brighter.
The air tasted sweeter.
He must've got confident.
He must've let Jesus take the wheel.
'Cause on the way down through that hill,
he blew past the SOP sign
and he got hit by a Greyhound bus.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Jehovah's Witnesses implies well-known religious group, but reveals they worship Tom Cruise.”
Joke Type
misdirectLines
setup- Y'all ever tried to get that Jehovah Witness boys
setupto do cocaine with y'all at the front door?
setupYou know the Jehovah's, right?
setupThey travel in tandem.
setupThey pull up to their yard in their Huffy Mountain bikes,
setupthe finest silks from the JC Penney's,
punchlinesinging songs and praising their Lord, Tom Cruise.