Uncle Lazer

SpecialManWhite

Career avg·2.81 bits/set·4.31 beats/set·0.41 punch density·0.81 tag density·16 sets

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.47 punch density·1.00 tag density

Watch Uncle Lazer’s set

Skips to 1:19:19 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I ain't a Republican, I ain't a Democrat,

I'm a lesbian.

Scissor me fucking timbers.

[Bit 2]

One thing I learned real quick in life,

you don't talk about politics at parties.

Everybody's doing drugs.

He threw up on your shirt, "Kyle, you're not gonna tell me

"how Russia and Ukraine are gonna be friends again."

Fuck you.

[Bit 3]

But I will get politically involved

for one sec right here.

Now look, I know what a bad deal is.

I've had a couple in my life.

I went to the script club one time

and spent $800 going to backroom with a nice young lady.

She told me about her nursing degree and she rubbed my leg.

And that was it.

Mr. Joe Biden, you traded a fucking first edition

Charizard Pokemon for a fucking starter pack Pikachu.

You fucking idiot.

[Bit 4]

If only we had a president that wrote a book

about the art of the deal.

I wrote that in the car on the way here.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Not being Republican or Democrat could be a sexual identity, not a political one.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI ain't a Republican, I ain't a Democrat,

punchlineI'm a lesbian.

tagScissor me fucking timbers.