Mason Bird

Golden TicketMedium Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.73 punch density·1.61 tag density·3 sets

This set·2 bits·3 beats·1.00 punch density·3.00 tag density

Watch Mason Bird’s set

Skips to 1:20:55 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I got on a Lime scooter the other day and I drove like two or three feet and the bike stopped so I checked the app and it was like, "Hey, just so you know, only one rider per scooter, please."

Has anyone ever had to press a button

to confirm they were an individual?

I know the exact moment I needed to stop riding the bike.

I drove by a black woman.

She was like, "Oh, hell, nah."

[Bit 2]

I went to Europe and I saw the Mona Lisa.

Like the most famous painting of all time.

And when I was there, this Korea couple walked up to me.

They're like, "Hey, can you take a photo of us?"

And I was like, "Sure."

And I thought they want to take a photo

like them and the Mona Lisa,

but they want to take a photo with me.

They're like, "This guy's so fat white and American.

We have to show our friends back at home, dude."

I look like World War III propaganda.

There's photos of me in North Korea.

This is democracy.

This is freedom.

This is McDonald's.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Scooter warning "one rider" implies sensor error, but reveals weight triggered it.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

punchlineI got on a Lime scooter the other day and I drove like two or three feet and the bike stopped so I checked the app and it was like, "Hey, just so you know, only one rider per scooter, please."

tagHas anyone ever had to press a button

tagto confirm they were an individual?