Set 11 · Episode 597
William Montgomery
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Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets
This set·5 bits·5 beats·0.73 punch density·1.67 tag density
Watch William Montgomery’s set
Skips to 1:45:34 in the episode
[Bit 1]
First off, holy shit, I literally thought
that bitch had a gun.
And she's about to shoot you, Red Band.
[Bit 2]
This week, Biden said half the women
in his administration are women.
That seems high.
Have you seen any of those fucking hags?
[Bit 3]
I recently realized I've been giving my girlfriend advice
that I don't apply to my own life,
so I started doing this thing where any time...
I'm about to give her advice.
I just apply whatever that is to my own life,
and I've gotta say, I've gotten really good
at giving myself a blowjob.
Holy shit.
Man, I got bought a Disney World at that shit!
They got me doing it at Disney World,
Literally, I got fired.
[Bit 4]
Unattractive people are more likely
to continue wearing masks post-COVID.
And I have to say, my only reaction to that is, thank you.
Holy shit, have you ever seen those hands?
Got a bunch of fucking hags walking around.
[Bit 5]
Little words of the wise, but if you get a baby hippo,
they don't actually say the same size as the bathtub.
Some piece of shit of fucking Petco ripped me off.
Holy shit, he didn't tell me that.
I swear to God, I thought the hippopotamus
stayed the same size as the bathtub they were in.
They don't, they get huge.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“A woman standing near the stage could be reinterpreted as an active shooter threat.”
Joke Type
reframeLines
setupFirst off, holy shit, I literally thought
punchlinethat bitch had a gun.
tagAnd she's about to shoot you, Red Band.