Set 9 · Episode 702
Ari Matti
RegularManWhiteSmall Joke Book
Career avg·2.08 bits/set·4.28 beats/set·0.56 punch density·1.00 tag density·25 sets
This set·5 bits·10 beats·0.61 punch density·0.70 tag density
Watch Ari Matti’s set
Skips to 1:58:29 in the episode
[Bit 1]
I am so fucking tired of being poor.
I'm about to snap.
When is it my time?
Even if you make a million dollars now,
remember when you were a kid, you thought million dollars,
that's a fucking summer house in Italy,
downtown apartment in Austin.
Now a million dollars, ooh, one bedroom in Flugerville.
Ooh.
Now I feel bad for millionaires.
I'm like, fuck, Chick-fil-A's hiring, I don't know.
[Bit 2]
When you look at rich people, don't you sometimes feel
like you missed a year in school?
Like where they talked, where the bag is at, you know?
Because my school was like, "Alphabet, Hitler."
And then they were like, "Okay.
Now go pay taxes."
What the fuck was algebra?
Teach me how to run a scam, you bitch.
Remember when we spent three years on a triangle?
I'm 32 years old. Never even seen one.
Teach me about offshore accounts!
[Bit 3]
And when you meet rich people, I always ask.
I always ask, "How?"
And they never say, "Always some real vague."
You know, rich people love to say like,
"Ah, the right place at the right time."
I've been everywhere always.
[Bit 4]
Let me in, rich people, come on, let me in the circle, let's go, I get it.
Let's fucking privatize water in Sierra Leone.
Let's go, I'm cool.
Take me to Epstein Island, let's go.
I'll fuck the kids.
I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.
[Bit 5]
The only people who do give you financial advice
are dudes who are into crypto, huh?
How come every guy who tells you about crypto
is also on the bus?
It's always your friend Tyler with like bong breath.
Dude, Bitcoin's coming back.
You want to be like Tyler, the fact that this information has trickled down to you
means we're already too late.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“A million dollars could be barely enough for unimpressive housing.”
Joke Type
reframeLines
setupI am so fucking tired of being poor.
setupI'm about to snap.
setupEven if you make a million dollars now,
setupremember when you were a kid, you thought million dollars,
setupthat's a fucking summer house in Italy,
setupdowntown apartment in Austin.
punchlineNow a million dollars, ooh, one bedroom in Flugerville.
tagOoh.
tagNow I feel bad for millionaires.
tagI'm like, fuck, Chick-fil-A's hiring, I don't know.