Ari Matti on Kill Tony

So there were ice raids happening this weekend in Austin. As an immigrant, of course, I am anti-ice. However, as soon as I get this green card,

Get these rapists out of my country.

That's the sort of dude I am.

Once I'm in, I pull the ladder up.

- Only white people feel bad for her. I asked all my black friends, they were like, "Oh, shot by law enforcement?"

- Welcome to the game, baby.

He makes killing look so easy.

You're at home eating chips, you're like, "Yeah, I got it like that."

trying to finish a meal, but then the hooker who gets in trouble is a fat cow.

Ain't nobody saving a fat cow!

The government is trying to kill you. That's the American government. It fixes the migraine,

but then slips you diabetes on the back end.

If you go to Dunkin' Donuts between 7 and 8 a.m. and you buy a donut, you get the second one for free. Listen, if you start your day with a donut,

the last thing you need is another donut.

In boxing I get it. But in chess too, huh? So you're telling me it's official?

You guys are stupid too, huh?

You know in the late 90s, Gary Kasparov, the greatest chess player of all time, lost to a computer. Development in civilization history.

with women it happened in 1973 you guys lost to a microwave that's my time thank

- So, when are we getting these Waymos to kill the homeless at night?

Robots are supposed to do the jobs we don't want to.

going through photosynthesis. They're fucking fasting, they're avoiding social media, they're cold plunging in Lady Bird Lake.

The homeless in Austin are doing everything Joe Rogan talks about.

You're worried about Dylan? I've known him for a decade, I think he's gay. And then you meet Dylan, you look into his eyes.

He ain't gay.

He's on the bench, fucker.

Dylan, a wolf knows a wolf. You suck a few dicks to throw me off." All of a sudden, eating my girls pussy, you're like, "Oh my God, isn't this crazy?"

So the only thing to do next week, I'm sucking Dylan off.

Just to see if it's true.

You know how they're like diversifying all the movie franchises now? They're making like a gay James Bond.

He's got to suck so much dick to get those passwords.

They're doing Taken, you know Taken with Liam Neeson? They're doing one with a black dad.

The phone just keeps ringing.

Sorry baby.

Had to make a stop.

And I get it. Listen, I get bitches love the guitar. It's a romantic instrument.

If I had a guitar, I would pull it out right now.

We didn't grow up on the guitar. Eastern Europeans. grew up on the accordion. You ever hear an accordion? It literally sounds like

communism. If you put your ear close enough to an accordion you can

literally hear it go, there is never enough bread.

Ladies, if you like fuck a coworker and you don't hear about it a week later, that's a bad sign.

That means you're a secret.

That means you look like a slob of shit.

There's plenty of women who would love a rumor. Hey Agatha. Hey Agatha, I heard you fucked Dory.

Maybe I did.

And I noticed that the distance from Matt's cock to his asshole is quite a journey. So I asked Matt, "What do you do? Do you just fucking shove it in there?"

Fat fuck Matt goes, "No, I gotta choose."

in the top of his own shit piece of milk and let the camera pan out. And he just looks at the camera,

"Pah-rah-pah-pah-pah!"

Still loving it.