2024-10-01
Set 9 · Episode 685
William Montgomery
RegularManBlackWhiteSmall Joke BookLarge Joke Book
Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets
This set·3 bits·4 beats·0.58 punch density·1.75 tag density
Watch William Montgomery’s set
Skips to 2:00:55 in the episode
[Bit 1]
Donald Trump claims that Haitian immigrants are devouring people's pets, and honestly
I feel like he got the wrong immigrants.
I mean, if we got Hans Kim,
if we asked Hans Kim if he knew anybody
facing on domesticated animals,
he would know.
[Bit 2]
But seriously, if a Haitian immigrant
wants to sacrifice a small animal,
that's their religious freedom.
Nobody is stopping you from murdering
your unborn child, Red Band.
[Bit 3]
But I do feel like we should step up
border security and mandate that any Haitian immigrant
attempting to cross into the U.S.
should be forced to practice voodoo.
Because if they show up and they're saying,
"Oh, Catholicism, hell no.
What are you bringing to the table?
You better be mixing up potions,
stirring up bodies, directing zombies."
That'd be like joining the CIA,
and then first day on the job, you're like,
"First of all, I refuse to actively participate
in any conspiracy to assassinate the president."
It's like, "Dog, what are you doing?
Do you know what this job is?"
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Wrong immigrants implies fact-checking Trump, but reveals a different racial pet-eating stereotype.”
Joke Type
misdirectLines
setupDonald Trump claims that Haitian immigrants are devouring people's pets, and honestly
setupI feel like he got the wrong immigrants.
setupI mean, if we got Hans Kim,
setupif we asked Hans Kim if he knew anybody
setupfacing on domesticated animals,
punchlinehe would know.