Martin Phillips

Golden TicketDisabledManWhite

Career avg·2.77 bits/set·3.04 beats/set·0.58 punch density·0.97 tag density·26 sets

This set·3 bits·3 beats·0.40 punch density·1.00 tag density

Watch Martin Phillips’s set

Skips to 7:39 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I have big hands.

People say they're piano hands, but I

don't know how to play the piano.

but my hand jobs are ridiculous.

I only play in Forte.

You should see the double crescendo.

[Bit 2]

I had about a card, and at the card store,

it was in the sympathy section.

Right next to that, it said sympathy-jewish.

I was like, "Oh, that's me.

So now, in a special way, you can tell your friends,

"I'm sorry to eat your Jewish."

It's a lot, you know?

[Bit 3]

I grew up with cats, and I like that cats use a litter box.

It's cool.

It's like, "Hey, not only do you have to clean up my shit,

but you got to find it first, so good luck, asshole."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Piano hands could be hand-job hands.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI have big hands.

setupPeople say they're piano hands, but I

setupdon't know how to play the piano.

punchlinebut my hand jobs are ridiculous.

tagI only play in Forte.

tagYou should see the double crescendo.