2024-10-22

Set 5 · Episode 688

Swiggy

Bucket PullManWhite

Career avg·2.50 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.28 punch density·1.63 tag density·2 sets

This set·3 bits·4 beats·0.22 punch density·0.75 tag density

Watch Swiggy’s set

Skips to 59:40 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I -- Yeah, I work at, like, this barbecue restaurant,

and, like, I bang this, like, fat chick

when I first started working there.

But then, like, years later, she tried to, like, make fun of me,

and she was like, "The next morning,

when I woke up next to Swiggy,

he was all cuddled up next to me."

I'm like, "Yeah, like, why wouldn't I be?"

You know, you're like a big, comfy pillow,

you fat fucking bitch.

[Bit 2]

I'd be treating fat bitches a lot like menthol cigarettes.

Like, you know, off like all your buddies

smoke regular cigarettes, you might go out

and like buy a pack of menthols.

That way, like, you know, like they don't want

to bum any off you.

So I fuck fat bitches.

I have my friends that want to fuck them, you know?

As you can tell, like, all my friends are white.

Like, I wish I had black friends.

I'd be like smoking the cigarettes I want, you know?

[Bit 3]

I remember being in the car with these two chicks once,

and they were having their own conversation.

One chick's going, "Oh my God, this guy,

he's a fucking weirdo.

I swear to God, he probably jerks off to you."

Another chick's like, "Oh my God,

probably does jerk off to you."

The whole time they're having this conversation,

I'm thinking, "No, I've jerked off to both of these bitches."

I'm like, "Hanging out with them."

I'm probably the real creeper, dude.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A hookup insult implies neediness, but reveals practical comfort.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI -- Yeah, I work at, like, this barbecue restaurant,

setupand, like, I bang this, like, fat chick

setupwhen I first started working there.

setupBut then, like, years later, she tried to, like, make fun of me,

setupand she was like, "The next morning,

setupwhen I woke up next to Swiggy,

setuphe was all cuddled up next to me."

setupI'm like, "Yeah, like, why wouldn't I be?"

punchlineYou know, you're like a big, comfy pillow,

tagyou fat fucking bitch.