Jack Shaw

Golden TicketManWhite

Career avg·2.73 bits/set·3.91 beats/set·0.35 punch density·0.55 tag density·11 sets

This set·3 bits·3 beats·0.24 punch density·0.67 tag density

Watch Jack Shaw’s set

Skips to 5:42 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Someone DMed me and they said, "Fuck you, fuck the Jews.

I don't support bombing hospitals."

And I was like, "Yo, that's not me.

I'm not doing that. I have no part in that.

If I did have a drone, I'd bomb the homeless people."

That's--I mean, talk about making unwanted settlements.

That's what I'm talking about.

[Bit 2]

My girl told me that it gives her the ick

that I pee sitting down.

So I got upset with her, okay?

And I said, "If you don't like me peeing sitting down,

you should see me pooping standing up."

[Bit 3]

Hey, you guys hear this app, Rocket Money?

Okay.

I got this app, and if you don't know what it is,

it's an app that tells you the subscriptions that you have.

Well, I got the app, it turns out,

I have two Rocket Money subscriptions.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Rejecting hospital bombing implies restraint, but reveals homeless drone warfare.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupSomeone DMed me and they said, "Fuck you, fuck the Jews.

setupI don't support bombing hospitals."

setupAnd I was like, "Yo, that's not me.

setupI'm not doing that. I have no part in that.

punchlineIf I did have a drone, I'd bomb the homeless people."

tagThat's--I mean, talk about making unwanted settlements.

tagThat's what I'm talking about.