2026-02-17

Set 3 · Episode 756

Quinton Jones

Bucket PullLarge Joke Book

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.27 punch density·1.00 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·3 beats·0.27 punch density·1.00 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Quinton Jones’s set

Skips to 24:25 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Since it's a new year, I decided to make new rules for myself.

My newest rule is I decided I'm going to stop dating women with cats.

Yeah.

It's tough because I don't know if y'all knew this, but women with cats are the biggest

and toes out here.

And it's so easy to keep a cat woman happy

because she's already used to somebody in her house

that doesn't love her.

Like, my ex used to have a cat, and it's weird,

'cause I'm trying to be a good guy,

but clearly she loves abuse.

'Cause, like, every time she would feed her cat,

her cat would just beat her ass.

I'm like, "Goddamn."

And I'm jealous. I'm like, "Damn, I want her to cook for me,

so I figure if I want some food,

I got to keep it even with the cat."

I didn't hit her, but, um,

What I did do was gas light her and knock shit over

from time to time.

And it's not for the best reasons.

It's not 'cause I hate cats,

it's not 'cause I hate cat women.

I'm just allergic.

Yeah, and I don't think women respect

how hard it is to have sex on Benadryl.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Dating a cat woman could be easy because unloved cohabitation is familiar.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupSince it's a new year, I decided to make new rules for myself.

setupMy newest rule is I decided I'm going to stop dating women with cats.

setupIt's tough because I don't know if y'all knew this, but women with cats are the biggest

setupand toes out here.

setupAnd it's so easy to keep a cat woman happy

setupbecause she's already used to somebody in her house

punchlinethat doesn't love her.