Mason Bird

Golden TicketMedium Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.73 punch density·1.61 tag density·3 sets

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.50 punch density·0.50 tag density·Medium Joke Book

Watch Mason Bird’s set

Skips to 1:22:40 in the episode

[Bit 1]

A teenager told me,

I look like a school shooter the other day

that shoots insulin instead of bullets.

He was like, your least favorite part of a school shooting

would be missing lunch.

It better not be pizza day, dude.

[Bit 2]

I feel like the only way I can personally relate to Rosa Parks

is when I'm walking through the center of an airplane

and everyone's staring at me like that motherfucker better not sit next to me, dude.

Very taking his ass to the front of the plane

where the big fellas belong.

No, I get it, though.

Like, I saw a dude fatter than me

walking through the airport,

and I was like, "That motherfucker better not get on my plane, dude."

It was a mirror.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Diabetes is like a school shooting because both body shots.”

Joke Type

analogy

Lines

setupA teenager told me,

setupI look like a school shooter the other day

punchlinethat shoots insulin instead of bullets.