2025-04-22

Set 14 · Episode 715

Uncle Lazer

SpecialManWhite

Career avg·2.81 bits/set·4.31 beats/set·0.41 punch density·0.81 tag density·16 sets

This set·2 bits·5 beats·0.50 punch density·0.80 tag density

Watch Uncle Lazer’s set

Skips to 2:02:26 in the episode

[Bit 1]

- Yeah, I can tell I was probably addicted to cocaine

at some point in my life.

And I quit.

But summer's coming.

So we'll see, you know, we'll fucking see.

It sucks quitting shit you're great at.

Listen, I'm great at cocaine.

I can turn a Sunday funday into a no-call show,

a no-call show no Monday in a motherfucking instant you hear me

[Bit 2]

but I had to quit and started smoking pots and his little hippie bitch here

she alright shut up listen she smokes this shit called dabs y'all done dabs

well listen for the other I don't know what dabs are is a highest rated THC

that basically when you smoke dabs it gives you down syndrome for the rest of

the week, okay?

He got shit to do that day, not gonna fucking get to it,

all right?

And then she wants to get off-section with me.

She's like hitting me with that horse cock, Daddy.

And I'm like, first off, who talks like that, you know?

Second of all, if you're gonna be lucky

to get my little pony, you know,

'cause I got cerebral pals at this point, rah!

She goes, "Hey, are you okay?

"Do you need anything?"

I go, "Nuh-uh, my mom's coming to get me.

"Don't worry about it.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Quitting cocaine implies sobriety, but reveals summer relapse.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setup- Yeah, I can tell I was probably addicted to cocaine

setupat some point in my life.

setupAnd I quit.

punchlineBut summer's coming.

tagSo we'll see, you know, we'll fucking see.