William Montgomery

RegularManBlackWhiteSmall Joke BookLarge Joke Book

Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets

This set·5 bits·5 beats·0.80 punch density·0.60 tag density

Watch William Montgomery’s set

Skips to 1:40:24 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I've got some good news, and I've got some bad news.

The good news is somebody recognized me in Hawaii.

The bad news--it was Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Man, that motherfucker--oh!

[Bit 2]

Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

- America.

- America, who?

- Aloha, we're here to steal your islands.

[Bit 3]

Texas is so bad at football,

the Sandy Hook parents are suing them for 2.5 trillion.

[Bit 4]

Yesterday on a hot mic, you could hear Joe Biden telling a guy that nobody fucks with

a Biden, unless of course you're Hunter Biden fucking your dead brother's widow.

She was technically a Biden.

[Bit 5]

Rest in peace, Aaron Carter.

That wasn't my mom's bathtub.

People are saying that is going around.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Being recognized implies celebrity status, but reveals a bounty hunter mistook you for a fugitive.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI've got some good news, and I've got some bad news.

setupThe good news is somebody recognized me in Hawaii.

punchlineThe bad news--it was Dog the Bounty Hunter.

tagMan, that motherfucker--oh!