William Montgomery

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Watch William Montgomery's Kill Tony episode 507 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 6 bits, 6 joke beats, 0.58 punch density, 0.17 tag density.

Career avg·4.14 bits/set·4.53 beats/set·0.59 punch density·0.47 tag density·128 sets

This set·6 bits·6 beats·0.58 punch density·0.17 tag density

[Bit 1]

My dad's so old he used to spank me.

[Bit 2]

My dad's so old he remembers

when Dr. Seuss was a sex symbol.

[Bit 3]

My dad's so old he banged Jesus' mom

and convinced her to claim it was a miracle pregnancy.

[Bit 4]

I love how we're supposed to listen to Bill Gates

about COVID as if he isn't responsible for a software

that is constantly being exploited by viruses.

[Bit 5]

Did anyone else cry during Blue Man Group?

[Bit 6]

I'm starting a home improvement store

that sells fans and fans only.

I'm just trying to think of what to call it.

Let me do that one more time, and y'all say only fans

at the end of it.

I'm starting a home improvement store

that sells fans and fans only.

I'm just trying to think of what to call it.

Fan.

My god, thank you all so much.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

punchlineMy dad's so old he used to spank me.