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2026-05-05

Pat O'Neill

Golden Ticket

Watch Pat O'Neill's Kill Tony episode 766 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 7 bits, 7 joke beats, 0.56 punch density, 0.29 tag density.

Career avg·5.60 bits/set·5.80 beats/set·0.70 punch density·0.49 tag density·5 sets

This set·7 bits·7 beats·0.56 punch density·0.29 tag density

Folks, thank you.

[Bit 1]

My son just came out as trans.

Well, shouldn't call him my son anymore.

Now that he's dead to me,

[Bit 2]

they got him on puberty blockers

or as pedophiles call them preservatives.

Fucking miracle medicine.

[Bit 3]

The other day at my job,

I was explaining puberty blockers to one of the midgets.

I work in a circus and...

He goes, "There's people choosing to do this."

"Fucking calm down, Tyrion, you bigot."

You there, sir, let me ask you,

[Bit 4]

what do you call a little person with ADHD?

That's right, a fidget.

Good answer.

[Bit 5]

Speaking of little people,

I wanna switch topics to school shootings.

The ultimate puberty blocker and ...

[Bit 6]

You know, these shootings are often done by the same race.

I'm looking at you, honkies.

[Bit 7]

White kids need to learn from their black classmates

and save the shootings for after school.

For them, it's an extracurricular activity.

Okay, thank you.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupMy son just came out as trans.

setupWell, shouldn't call him my son anymore.

punchlineNow that he's dead to me,