Set 8 · Episode 424
Michael Lehrer
RegularDisabledMan
Career avg·9.57 bits/set·10.29 beats/set·0.66 punch density·0.46 tag density·14 sets
This set·6 bits·11 beats·0.28 punch density·0.77 tag density
Watch Michael Lehrer’s set
Skips to 1:18:29 in the episode
[Bit 1]
What the fuck? Hey, if you're not a doctor, no advice. Oh, you should try the paleo dye.
He's like a caveman, no legumes.
Yeah, that's the problem.
Legumes.
If legumes cause this,
my neurologist will blow his fucking brains out.
[Bit 2]
Oh, have you tried CBD?
It's like weed but it won't get you high.
Fuck that!
Give me some crack cocaine.
I want some crocodile, some heroin.
Spice me up.
What's the worst that can happen?
I lose the ability of walking talk
[Bit 3]
And how long ago did you get diagnosed with ALS?
- Why get to bring up all the depressing shit?
What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
- Well.
- Let's talk about drugs and fucking.
[Bit 4]
- She's mad 'cause my bucket list
has too much buffucking on it.
I think The Butt is a really good sequel to The Pussy.
Like, The Pussy is the Terminator.
The butt is Terminator 2.
Oh, my God.
The pussy is Godfather.
The butt is Godfather 2.
The pussy is Man-do.
The butt is Man-do Berry Blast.
[Bit 5]
I'm the... I'm the hottest thing in Hollywood right now.
You're absolutely right.
I'm the next R.J. Mike from Breaking Bad.
You know Walter's son?
Breaking bread?
My ass been broke.
Yeah, I can alphabet super holly when motherfuckers want a piece of my broken ass.
[Bit 6]
I'm going to Skankfest.
Alright, I'm gonna perform. I'm gonna do Kill Tony.
But I'm only going there for one reason really.
To murder Jim Florentine.
Wow, why do you want to do that?
He broke my heart.
How did he do that?
A year and a half ago I emailed him to make my wish
because his crank calls made me laugh.
And then, Crankin' Curse got rebooted, and he's been ghosting me for the year and a half.
You hear that, you fucking Hollywood cock motherfucker?
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Unqualified medical advice implies help, but reveals absurd blame for legumes.”
Joke Type
misdirectLines
setupWhat the fuck? Hey, if you're not a doctor, no advice. Oh, you should try the paleo dye.
punchlineHe's like a caveman, no legumes.
tagYeah, that's the problem.
tagLegumes.