Ralphie the bartender

Bucket PullSmall Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.31 punch density·0.25 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.31 punch density·0.25 tag density·Small Joke Book

Watch Ralphie the bartender’s set

Skips to 1:34:39 in the episode

[Bit 1]

So a couple months ago I go to Home Depot to look for a dude

and he didn't really come with a green card

but a really long kink card.

So we started dating.

[Bit 2]

And things have been going pretty good.

The other night we're having a really intimate, deep discussion.

He's giving me the reassurance that you want

and that you need a new relationship.

I love you forever and ever and always. Amen. I'm like, "Chingao, dude, did you just bring your

faith into this? How good Chingao are you?" And later that night, he's actually trying to put me

on the dinner table. And can you blame him? You know, boys got to eat. And he's getting all sex

with me, rubbing up on me and whatnot. And he's like, "Who's your man?" And so immediately I

I sit up and I look him dead in the eyes,

and I'm like, "Our one and only, Lord and Savior,

"Jesus Christ, amen."

So he came, which is pretty cool

because before this relationship,

I really wasn't that religious,

but apparently we pray every night now

'cause our men's our new safe word.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Looking for a man at Home Depot implies a green card, but reveals a kink card.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupSo a couple months ago I go to Home Depot to look for a dude

setupand he didn't really come with a green card

punchlinebut a really long kink card.

tagSo we started dating.