Set 1 · Episode 730
Heath Cordes
Golden TicketYoungLarge Joke Book
Career avg·2.40 bits/set·2.80 beats/set·0.42 punch density·0.82 tag density·5 sets
This set·2 bits·3 beats·0.15 punch density·0.33 tag density
Watch Heath Cordes’s set
Skips to 8:18 in the episode
[Bit 1]
I moved to Texas about two years ago, and before I moved here,
I was living with my grandma, and I like to live with my grandma
grandma a whole lot, but I had to move out.
It was time.
I had to move out.
Because me and grandma, we would fight.
Me and grandma, we would tussle.
Like she was a baker.
She liked to bake cookies and cake and brownies and
everything that was good.
And I liked it a whole lot.
And I would eat it up too fast.
And she would tell me how it pissed her off.
And she would say, stop doing that.
It pisses me off.
And I tried.
I tried to control myself, but I didn't have any self-control.
And she knew that.
She knew I didn't have self-control,
but she still made the sweets.
She was like a pimp feeding crack to her bitch.
I'd have to beg for cookies.
I'd beg.
I'd say, please.
Please.
She'd say, shut up.
[Bit 2]
-No, I didn't do that. I didn't --
It's just a joke.
She's a homophobe. I didn't suck her penis.
She's a -- [ Laughter ]
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Grandma is like a pimp because both exploit dependency.”
Joke Type
analogyLines
setupI moved to Texas about two years ago, and before I moved here,
setupI was living with my grandma, and I like to live with my grandma
setupgrandma a whole lot, but I had to move out.
setupI had to move out.
setupBecause me and grandma, we would fight.
setupMe and grandma, we would tussle.
setupLike she was a baker.
setupShe liked to bake cookies and cake and brownies and
setupeverything that was good.
setupAnd I liked it a whole lot.
setupAnd I would eat it up too fast.
setupAnd she would tell me how it pissed her off.
setupAnd she would say, stop doing that.
setupIt pisses me off.
setupAnd I tried.
setupI tried to control myself, but I didn't have any self-control.
setupAnd she knew that.
setupShe knew I didn't have self-control,
setupbut she still made the sweets.
punchlineShe was like a pimp feeding crack to her bitch.