Hank Garza

Bucket PullBig Joke Book

Watch Hank Garza's Kill Tony episode 753 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.44 punch density, 0.40 tag density.

Career avg·3.50 bits/set·3.50 beats/set·0.33 punch density·0.20 tag density·2 sets

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.44 punch density·0.40 tag density·Big Joke Book

[Bit 1]

Guys, believe it or not, I was actually born prematurely.

My dad came quick.

It's crazy.

[Bit 2]

The other day, I was out in public with my dog,

and it took a shit, and I didn't have a bag.

And I did that move, you know, and I was like,

"Man, is this what white guilt feels like?"

"Having to make excuses for animals?"

"All right, you're gonna love this next one."

I've been really working on this impression.

Here, I'm gonna hit you with it.

[Bit 3]

Oh, yeah, boss.

They look like a skinny Mexican.

And they talk like a "Ho yo yo yo ho yo yo yo."

Yo, that's the Japanese scene

the Navajo Code Talkers for the first time.

Little history for your ass.

[Bit 4]

Um, before I was a dad, I was a drug addict,

and I thought I was gonna be a terrible father.

So I found out that being a drug addict and being a dad,

Zach's ain't fucking life.

I'll end it at that, 'cause it's pretty deep.

But, yeah, that's been my time. Thank you so much.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

double-meaning

Lines

setupGuys, believe it or not, I was actually born prematurely.

punchlineMy dad came quick.