Celia Contreras

Bucket PullWomanLatinoLarge Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.50 beats/set·0.43 punch density·0.17 tag density·2 sets

This set·2 bits·3 beats·0.29 punch density·0.33 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Celia Contreras’s set

Skips to 1:03:53 in the episode

[Bit 1]

So I'm on a rape whistle,

because I like to blast off a little tune before I get started.

[Bit 2]

I went hitchhiking recently, and all my friends and family said stupid-ass shit to me.

They're like, "What if you get raped or kidnapped?

You all see me, right?"

If somebody raped or kidnapped me, that motherfucker earned it.

Do you know how hard it is for guys to fuck me with my consent?

I have to spread my legs as far as I can, send them down there with a Call of Duty headset

and give them directions.

You're gonna go six clicks to the north.

You're gonna go through the main tunnel,

the two smaller tunnels on either side are dead ends.

And at the end of the night,

they still jizz on my thigh,

and at that point I just want them to go home,

so I'm like, "Good job, soldier.

"He did your country, pal."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A rape whistle could be pre-sex warmup.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupSo I'm on a rape whistle,

punchlinebecause I like to blast off a little tune before I get started.