2025-07-15

Set 3 · Episode 727

Johnny Mornie

Bucket PullAsianManLarge Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.42 punch density·3.00 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·2 beats·0.42 punch density·3.00 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Johnny Mornie’s set

Skips to 47:02 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I'm a teacher during the day, that's my day job.

I teach high school seniors.

They're eight years younger than me.

It's weird being so close-natured to your kids

'cause they know your weaknesses, you know?

Like, I had a kid show up 10 minutes late for class,

and before I could say anything, he was like,

"Mokny, mark me tardy if you're gay."

I was like, "Fuck!"

I was like, "You win this one, kiddo."

[Bit 2]

And they get involved in your personal life too.

Like a bunch of my kids found out that I had this breakup

'cause the picture of my girlfriend

disappeared from my desk.

So they're all like, "Mockney, what happened to your

"girlfriend? Don't worry, Mockney will find you a new girl.

"We'll hook you up with someone."

I was like, "Guys, guys, that's what parent-teacher

"conferences are for.

"I'm gonna fuck all your moms."

I've been clocking this class since day one.

I know who doesn't have a dad.

I'm all aware.

I know who doesn't have a dad

and I know who has two cool moms.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A tardy bluff implies confidence, but reveals helplessness.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI'm a teacher during the day, that's my day job.

setupI teach high school seniors.

setupThey're eight years younger than me.

setupIt's weird being so close-natured to your kids

setup'cause they know your weaknesses, you know?

setupLike, I had a kid show up 10 minutes late for class,

setupand before I could say anything, he was like,

setup"Mokny, mark me tardy if you're gay."

punchlineI was like, "Fuck!"

tagI was like, "You win this one, kiddo."