William Montgomery

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Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets

This set·3 bits·5 beats·0.32 punch density·0.40 tag density

Watch William Montgomery’s set

Skips to 1:31:26 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Apparently CNN did an exit poll on race the day of the election.

Do you really need a poll for that?

Imagine if they, my ass, walked out and they were like,

"Sir, we need to figure something out about you real quick."

Imagine the overly sensitive exit pollster providing horrible data because he's afraid to say black to black people.

Would you say you're African from African ancestry?

Like would you say you're more of a threat to take it to the basket or shoot the long jump shot?

Excuse me sir, who did you vote for today? And can you dunk? Can I touch your hair?

New exit poll, 70% white, 8%, no I can't touch their hair.

4% have never changed a smoke alarm battery

and 10% look Chinese.

[Bit 2]

So apparently there was a roast of Jay Leno.

He got his face burned real bad yesterday.

Did y'all not know that?

Okay.

So y'all probably heard by now,

Jay Leno was seriously burned in an accident

inside of a car garage.

Investigators initially thought it was a gasoline fire,

but they now have learned he was listening

to an Aphex Twin mixtape.

But seriously, Jay Leno suffered severe burns to the face

in a freak car fire.

When asked for a comment, Steve-O said,

"Man, that ain't shit."

[Bit 3]

Everybody is always like,

I wish MTV played more music videos.

Everybody accepts Steve-O's royalty checks.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Polling voters on race is widely understood to be unnecessary but rarely said aloud.”

Joke Type

elephant-in-the-room

Lines

setupApparently CNN did an exit poll on race the day of the election.

punchlineDo you really need a poll for that?