KT #748 - ARI MATTI + EHSAN AHMAD
2025-12-16
Set 6 · Episode 748
Sancho Pancho Villa
Bucket PullManLatinoSmall Joke BookMedium Joke BookLarge Joke Book
Career avg·2.33 bits/set·3.33 beats/set·0.29 punch density·0.42 tag density·3 sets
This set·3 bits·4 beats·0.53 punch density·1.00 tag density·Large Joke Book
Watch Sancho Pancho Villa’s set
Skips to 1:24:46 in the episode
[Bit 1]
- A lot of people can't tell by looking at me,
but I am a veteran.
I used to let the crowd guess what branch I was in,
but with every guess, my feelings kept getting hurt
more and more, so I'll just tell y'all.
I actually served six years in high school JROTC.
I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.
I was only in high school for four years.
[Bit 2]
No, I should also mention, after high school,
I went and served in the Marine Corps for four years.
Let's go, hoorah.
Yeah.
I was five three when I went in,
and then I came out at five one,
so I lost two inches where it really mattered.
[Bit 3]
There's a lot of disadvantages to being short,
but some advantages to being short in the Marines.
For instance, when I would walk through fields
with tall grass, I didn't have to worry
I don't think I'm about snipers anymore.
I would, however, have to keep my eyes peeled in the sky
for, like, hawks.
I heard other large birds.
Crazy story, a hawk actually tried to pick me up one time.
It got, like, a foot and a half off the ground
before dropping me.
I guess even Mother Nature was like,
"Eh, too much cholesterol."
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Claiming veteran status implies military service, but reveals fake credentials from high school JROTC.”
Joke Type
misdirectLines
setup- A lot of people can't tell by looking at me,
setupbut I am a veteran.
setupI used to let the crowd guess what branch I was in,
setupbut with every guess, my feelings kept getting hurt
setupmore and more, so I'll just tell y'all.
punchlineI actually served six years in high school JROTC.
tagI'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.
tagI was only in high school for four years.