Set 4 · Episode 714

Ari Matti

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Career avg·2.08 bits/set·4.28 beats/set·0.56 punch density·1.00 tag density·25 sets

This set·5 bits·6 beats·0.93 punch density·1.17 tag density

Watch Ari Matti’s set

Skips to 1:58:00 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Fuck Southwest Airlines.

Give me a fucking seat!

Dude, I didn't know it's legal to sell 360 tickets

and then just let us baboons figure it out.

Where am I sitting?

[Bit 2]

You know when you get like an aisle seat

and then another guy's got the window

and you try at all costs

to keep that middle seat fucking open.

You watch these group F motherfuckers.

You know when you're covering the aisle and you try to look as insane as possible?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

stay the fuck away from my middle seat.

[Bit 3]

That's why now I carry a Quran.

I put that shit down.

[Bit 4]

And hey, parents, leave your shitty fucking baby at home.

What the fuck he got going on in Phoenix?

[Bit 5]

Let me tell you, if you approach my middle seat

with a fucking baby

I'm gonna be weird to that baby

How old is it?

Single digit.

The most delicious.

I'll fuck your baby for some leg room.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Buying a plane ticket implies having a seat, but reveals needing to demand one.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupFuck Southwest Airlines.

punchlineGive me a fucking seat!