2025-06-24

Set 1 · Episode 724

David Lucas

RegularBlackMan

Career avg·2.73 bits/set·3.88 beats/set·0.64 punch density·1.32 tag density·49 sets

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.26 punch density·0.50 tag density

Watch David Lucas’s set

Skips to 6:47 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I feel like I was born the wrong generation.

I feel like I should have been 30 in the '80s or the '70s.

Because girls in 2025 are too freaky for me.

I hate this squirting shit.

I don't like it.

Do you think bitches were squirting during slavery?

They couldn't, they were too dehydrated, you know what I'm sayin'?

[Bit 2]

I don't know when this squirting shit became popular, bro.

I think squirting came out with Ugg boots,

you know what I'm sayin'?

You hoes started wearing Uggs

and started pissin' everywhere, it's weird.

[Bit 3]

It's always weird when you fuck a girl if she squirts.

She's like, "Oh my God, I just squirted."

It's like, "Bitch, you didn't squirt.

You just fucked my mattress up, bitches."

This is a purple mattress.

Oh, I gotta throw this shit out now.

[Bit 4]

But ladies, if you do have the squirt,

which we know by now is pee, we just have one request.

Just please hydrate, you know what I'm saying?

Drink some fucking water,

because don't nobody want that mimosa-ass piss

you hoes be havin'.

That shit be strong as hell,

like mixing Clorox with Fabuloso.

I gotta, I gotta wear goggles or eat your pussy, bitch.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Squirting during slavery implies sexual freedom, but reveals dehydration.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI feel like I was born the wrong generation.

setupI feel like I should have been 30 in the '80s or the '70s.

setupBecause girls in 2025 are too freaky for me.

setupI hate this squirting shit.

setupI don't like it.

setupDo you think bitches were squirting during slavery?

punchlineThey couldn't, they were too dehydrated, you know what I'm sayin'?