2024-03-19

Set 10 · Episode 655

Martin Phillips

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Career avg·2.77 bits/set·3.04 beats/set·0.58 punch density·0.97 tag density·26 sets

This set·2 bits·3 beats·0.41 punch density·1.33 tag density

Watch Martin Phillips’s set

Skips to 1:36:18 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I'm a milk carton, so I used to have pictures of

lots of children, and I think that was just

milk industry propaganda, you know?

Like, hey, guess what, what happened?

We don't drink your milk.

You go missing, oh my God, oh man.

I bet you wish you had strong bones.

We want to help down, so.

They found all those kids. It's cool.

[Bit 2]

Anyway, I was hooked up with this girl, like true story.

She was, "That's a joke. That's a joke. Fuck you. That's a joke."

Now, she didn't have to stay. She would bite my neck.

and some people might hear that and be like,

"Man, that sounds hot."

But I was like, "Uh-uh, are you a vampire?"

Or, "Oh, fuck."

Then she knitted my ear, and I was like,

"Well, uh, there's not much blood bears

here in a dung-dung, but uh."

But then she blew me, and I was like,

"There's a lot of blood bears."

So, you got me, you got me.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“milk industry missing-children campaign could be reframe as a threat to children who don't drink milk.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI'm a milk carton, so I used to have pictures of

setuplots of children, and I think that was just

setupmilk industry propaganda, you know?

setupLike, hey, guess what, what happened?

setupWe don't drink your milk.

setupYou go missing, oh my God, oh man.

punchlineI bet you wish you had strong bones.

tagWe want to help down, so.

tagThey found all those kids. It's cool.