William Montgomery

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Career avg·4.13 bits/set·4.51 beats/set·0.61 punch density·0.57 tag density·101 sets

This set·5 bits·5 beats·1.29 punch density·0.80 tag density

Watch William Montgomery’s set

Skips to 1:56:50 in the episode

[Bit 1]

And that is true.

I do wipe my butt after I pee.

[Bit 2]

Any time I hear someone say, "I didn't save my dog,

my dog saved me," I'm like, "You stole Lassie?

Wait, were you drowning or?"

[Bit 3]

The children show Sesame Street is celebrating Pride Month

and I'm gonna be honest, I had no idea puppets had anuses.

[Bit 4]

How about those people that say,

"I'd like to order an iced coffee, hold the ice."

I want to go up and say, "I'd like a blow job, but hold the blow."

And they go, "Wait, what?"

And then I'm like, "I'm sorry, can I fill out an application?"

[Bit 5]

And on the eighth day, God created a effects twin,

and a effects twin said, "Naw, we just need seven."

And God was like, "Oh my God, he's such a genius."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Peeing is widely understood not to require butt wiping but rarely contradicted aloud.”

Joke Type

elephant-in-the-room

Lines

setupAnd that is true.

punchlineI do wipe my butt after I pee.