Martin Phillips

Golden TicketDisabledManWhite

Career avg·2.77 bits/set·3.04 beats/set·0.58 punch density·0.97 tag density·26 sets

This set·3 bits·4 beats·0.38 punch density·1.25 tag density

Watch Martin Phillips’s set

Skips to 53:35 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I'm starting a true crime podcast.

I just have to kill the people first.

Yeah, please like, comment,

subscribe, and like,

like, where are the bodies?

"That's next episode!"

[Bit 2]

You know, I don't want you to see like Dalmatians

at the firehouse.

I never understood why, but I think I figured it out.

I think it's like the gold machine.

Like, "Hey, start your house, burn that out."

"That's all?"

"What the pet are done?"

[Bit 3]

Okay, I'm not married.

I'm too, you know, too popular of a man.

You can't, you know, hold me down.

But my friend get me married if I is used.

Like, I treated it like a job.

And I was like, man, I've been pretty shitty at one of my jobs.

You know, I've been fired, you know?

That's why I came up with a better analogy.

Treat it like a vacation

'cause you say not for it, you look forward to it,

then we get there, it kinda sucks, but...

But we're here, and we're gonna have a good time,

to have that, and make it the best of it, okay.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Starting a true crime podcast implies covering existing crimes, but reveals self-sourcing the murders.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI'm starting a true crime podcast.

punchlineI just have to kill the people first.