Set 3 · Episode 689
Jack Shaw
Golden TicketManWhite
Career avg·2.73 bits/set·3.91 beats/set·0.35 punch density·0.55 tag density·11 sets
This set·3 bits·4 beats·0.37 punch density·1.50 tag density
Watch Jack Shaw’s set
Skips to 27:43 in the episode
[Bit 1]
I don't know about you guys,
but I love to play with my penis.
There's so many things you can do with it.
You can talk out of the little hole.
You can go, me, me, me, me.
You can do that.
You can, oh, you can put your glasses on it.
You can make the man with the big nose.
You guys know that guy?
But my favorite thing to do above all
is to beat it till it cries.
[Bit 2]
It makes people so uncomfortable
when I talk about masturbating at the dinner table.
I don't know why.
It's such a lovely experience,
but I realize I never smile when I do it.
Does...
Does anyone do that?
No, it's this thing I love to do,
but it seems to make me angry.
Do you guys know what I'm talking about?
Think about it the next time you're masturbating.
Think about me.
Think about it.
You're not gonna be like,
no, you're gonna be like, ah.
I think the reason that I don't,
that I get so angry is because I don't like
what my penis looks like.
It looks a little bit like Mitch McConnell, a little bit.
[Bit 3]
And I've never sent a dick pic.
And you know why?
Because I've never once looked at my penis
and thought, you know what?
Someone else needs to see this.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Playing with it implies tricks, but reveals masturbation.”
Joke Type
misdirectLines
setupI don't know about you guys,
setupbut I love to play with my penis.
setupThere's so many things you can do with it.
setupYou can talk out of the little hole.
setupYou can go, me, me, me, me.
setupYou can do that.
setupYou can, oh, you can put your glasses on it.
setupYou can make the man with the big nose.
setupYou guys know that guy?
setupBut my favorite thing to do above all
punchlineis to beat it till it cries.